So about three weeks ago, I said that I would try to post three times a week. I think it is now safe to chalk that one up as a failure. Do you want to know why I haven’t posted? I am for all intents and purposes, unemployed. (Well…sort of) To some of you, this should mean I should be posting thick and fast, with all that spare time I have, however, what the frickity frack do I talk to you all about? I have nothing to say – and that is very unlike me. I spend my days somewhere between two minor part time jobs, learning to teach English as a foreign language and by extension losing the will to live and any faith in my linguistic abilities, and putting my brother’s live-in-girlfriend’s thongs on a delicate wash and short spin. To express to you in finer detail how thrilling my existence currently is, I have composed a list of thoughts that occur daily in that weird, dark, sarcastic and once intelligent* mind of mine.
1. COFFEE *10 MINUTES LATER* COFFEE?
2. WHY ARE MALE HUMANS INCAPABLE OF REPLACING TOILET ROLL!
3. I BRUSHED MY TEETH TODAY, RIGHT?
4. WHY AREN’T MORE PEOPLE IN LOVE WITH LORELAI GILMORE?
5. *SQUEEZE EYES REALLY TIGHT, WIGGLES BUM* MMMMMMMM MOTIVATION? I KNOW YOUR IN THERE SOMEWHERE
6. MUSIC CHANELS MUST BE SO PROUD OF THEMSELVES
7. DUDE, ITS NOVEMBER, WHY ARE YOUR CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS UP?
8. WHY, OH, WHY AM I TEACHING A 19 YEAR OLD HOW TO SORT COLOURS?
9. DEAR GOD, STEPHEN AMELL IS PRETTY
11. TODAY WILL BE THE DAY UCAS EMAIL ME.
12. WELL THAT WAS EMBARRASSING…
As you can see, I just don’t know what to make of all this brilliance! I feel like a few of the items on the list need justifying, but that would mean trying to explain what goes on inside my head and I feel I should leave all that untapped for my future therapist, psychologist and potentially a jury, depending on what extremes people manage to push me to. And by people, I mean my family. This was all a very round-about way of apologising for not posting more, but as you can see, I’m working with very little here!she didn’t fail every class she took; only the ones she slept through.
*Intelligent- used in the State Of Grace sense of the word. Meaning she didn’t fail every class she took; only the ones she slept through.
originally posted 27/11/2014