13 Stages of a Student Night Out 

It’s a Wednesday as I’m writing this and if you keep reading, you’ll understand that I’m approaching stage 2.

These stages are not student exclusive I’m sure, but they’ve rung pretty true of my own student experience. Normally, and in my pre-student life, I’m a keen fan of the casual night out with ‘potential for escalation’. By which I mean, I don’t have to dress up, usually organised effortlessly and last minute with after party potential/my interesting ability to continually surprise myself = escalation. 

I’ve kept things pretty similar this year and they go a bit like this…

1.The day: The seed is planted and daydreams about tequila ensue.

2.The dilemma: Usually going out sounds far better than whatever you’re doing during the day, but it’ll get to 7-8ish and you’ll question yourself. Do I actually want to go out? Do I actually have money to go out when my bed is free? You start thinking about all the work you could get done and broach an existential crisis.

3. The fuck-it phenomenon: It’s probably 9:30, and you’ve decided yolo, fuck it, you’ve thrown caution to the wind. You are a maverick, after all. Often includes a quick dash to Lidl for cheap booze.

4: Getting ready, this is the stage I fondly think of as ‘Beer in the shower’: It’s already 9:30, so you have to get ready and get pre-gaming ASAP. You shower and apply make up quicker than any weekday morning.

5. Pre Drinks: The money-saving, mandatory part of every student’s night out. If you’re really running late, you jump right into Ring of Fire or Taxi, and weigh up the pros and cons of winning the shit mix. Someone suggests Never Have I Ever, which quickly deteriorates into pure abuse of some poor soul who recently disgraced themselves.

6. Awab abob bob?: If you don’t know where that’s from, please educate yourself here. It’s getting late so you all get your asses in gear, down the dregs and get your coat. You’ll stand in the hallway for aproximately 20 minutes waiting for that housemate to tart themselves up. Note: I am the only girl in a house of boys, and I am not this person.

7. On the road: Two options, usually time dependent: 1) Walk and save your money for shots. 2) Make BEST friends with the uber driver.

8. You’ve made it: Beeline for the bar in whatever club, pub, bar, strip joint you’ve decided on. First round of obligatory shots and continued drinking, (responsibly of course).

9. FRIENDS: You’ve lost yours but made new ones anyway, often leads into…..

10. Dubious decisions: This can often be in the form of one of your new friends, and well…things happen. You slipped, I’m sure.

11. Closing time: Open all the doors and let you out into the world/ Closing time/ Turn the lights up over every boy and every girl./ Closing time/ One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer. /Closing time/ You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.

Incase further education is required, click here.

11. On the road take 2: Whether you’re on your way to an after bash, home with your new, ahem, friend, or on your way to face plant your bed, you are bouncing around the pavements, (too poor now for an uber, and you know the walk will do you the world of good). You make an obligatory stop at a questionable chippy.

12. MOOOOORNIN: You’ve awoken. There’s a blur between point 9 and here, and because you’re a student and can only afford to go out on student (weekday) nights, it’s a Thursday and you’ve got about 40 minutes to make it across town and to your lecture. Tremendous.

13. Side effects may include: Vomiting, headache, dubious bruising, empty bank accounts and shame.

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UK Student and Lifestyle Blogger. Coffee Snob. Adventure Lover. Book Reader. Gilmore Girls Aficionado.

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